Beef Bacon Review...

I just tried Beef bacon for the first time. Pretty good-- I couldn't get it to crisp up like pork, though.

Imagine Beef Jerky falling in love with Pork Bacon on a post-breakfast hike. Thats what this is like. Their delicious love child.

Its great as an ingredient (in stir fry, or like tonight, in my creamed spinach) but its a different thing than bacon... pork bacon still has its old crispy place in my heart.

Seriously though, two bacon posts in a row? A bit excessive, methinks.

...then again, if beef bacon is indeed a different thing...

In other news, I have recently tried Heavy Cream. I expected so much from it-- I expected glory in a spoon-- but really was let down. Until, that is, I tried creamed spinach-- and sparkling water with cream and vanilla stevia drops.

And I'd like to note that I feel I should apologize somewhat for the abrupt 'change' that this place has undertaken-- but I didn't feel that I should write it all off and start a new blog. My life has changed (as has my eating life) in a very real, very purposeful way, and I was inspired again to share the things that I discover and believe in. Come with me, yeah?

Awesome Morsels

Awesome Morsels
Originally uploaded by CaptainShen

OK, STOP EVERYTHING.
Prepare this.

I used:

1 scallop
2 chicken livers
3 Slices of bacon
3 Chunks Avocado
Wasabi
Rosemary Avocado Oil Mayonnaise

I soaked toothpicks in water for around 30 minutes while I went to the store, then came home and wrapped each meat morsel with a drizzle of wasabi (I mixed the powder so that it was thin) and an avocado.

I thin made a big flaming show of the grill outside and pulled the little morsels off, then feverishly looked for my camera and used my mayo as a little topping.

Bask in the glory of the awesome morsels!

FINALLY! Good Mayo.

I've made quite a few bad batches of mayonnaise, ever since learning to embrace fats. I was excited to have mayonnaise again-- 'real' deviled eggs and tuna salad seemed like an amazing prospect to me. However, as I think soybean oil, canola, and other various processed seed oils are kinda, you know, poison, I decided I'd make my own. I own great olive oils, right now being a Nazareth and Canaan (hahaha, well, thats kind of funny now that I realize it) and they made absolutely nasty mayonnaise. I was at a loss-- I love lemon. I love olive oil. I love egg! They emulsified themselves into an epically bad spread that made me sad. However! Tonight, I have done it.

I wanted to use avocado oil, but the only avocado oil I had was infused with rosemary. Well, boy howdy. Not such a bad problem to have, I thought. However, mayonnaising seemed to bring out the worst in my oils thus far, so all I could do was try...

And this is the tale of what I did.

1 egg yolk

1 TB white vinegar

1/4 - 1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 tsp dry mustard

1/8 tsp stevia

1/8 tsp cayenne pepper

---

5 or 6 Oz Rosemary Avocado Oil

I guess people have a lot of trouble with 'breaking' their mayonnaise. I've made it (even if it wasn't that great in the past) many times and have never had a problem. I have a teensy tiny mini red food processor (Farberware, looks like they don't make them anymore) that has dips in the lid for a grip, and in the bottom of that dip, there is a tiny air hole. I simply pour the oil into the finger-dips and let the air hole drip it in. Its a long process, but it works perfectly. So, I put all of the first ingredients in, gave it a pulse, and let it sit for a moment (because I thought the mustard needed to develop or something). After that, I just poured oil into the little well and let it go until the concoction 'felt' mayonnaisey.

AND IT WAS GOOD! Wonder of wonders. Now, for some salmon salad...

-El

Snack?!

For one month, I have decided to go without eating nuts. Or nut butters. This comes from the ridiculous amount of which I overeat them. I started yesterday, and I find myself hungrily wandering into the kitchen to find them, but alas-- I have bagged and frozen them.

Anyhow, in my nut-free wanderings, I needed a good little snack, and I came up with something... genius.

BISONS ON A LOG!

Thats right. Celery. Plus homemade mayonnaise (olive oil and lemon-- though next time I'll use vinegar) and tiny cubed bison steak.

Cold Coconut Chicken Tamales

This is a primal recipe-- no grain (masa) used! The texture of coconut flour lends itself perfectly to cornmeal/masa recipes. I needed a car/finger food for my 20 hour drive to Georgia and tamales sounded so, so good. I worked hard to develop this recipe. They're GREAT cold and the texture is just dreamy. However, the process is VERY involved, as tamales are famous for. So, set aside a few days and get the big kitchenware out. Be prepared to be amazed.

Note: I hardly ever add salt, but it was needed in certain areas of this recipe. I used fine himalayan pink salt for this one.

CHICKEN AND FILLING

Butter ... for browning

Garlic ... 4 or 5 cloves

Onion ... 1/2 of a huge one or 1 whole regular

Whole chicken ... Just one

Brown a whole chicken in a large stock pot with butter. Add Garlic and onion.

Boil the buggah for like 2 hours, maybe more. It should faaaall apart when you grab it with tongs. Let it cool right there in the stock, after you turn off the stove. When it is cool enough, put the whole thing in the fridge. Take it out the next day and skim off the fat, then remove the chicken. Shred the meat, you don't need the skin or bones anymore (but you can save them for soup and whatnot. I don't know, you have freedom to do whatever you like, I don't mind)

Put that chicken meat in a biiig mixing bowl and shred it like mad!

Coconut oil ... 1/2 Cup

Chili Powder ... 3 TB

Cumin ... 3 TB

Garlic Powder ... 3 TB

Black Pepper ... 1.5 TB

White Pepper ... 1.5 TB

----

Salt ... 2 TSP

Red Bell Pepper ... 1/2 of one, diced EXTRA tiny

Green Onions ... 2 stalks, thinly sliced (including white)

---

Unsweet Coconut Shreds 1/2 cup

Warm the first set of ingredients in a pot on the stove simply to wake up the spices with the oil and then add Red Bell Pepper and Green Onions until the green onions are JUST softening, then turn it off and add salt. Add this to the shredded chicken and knead with your hands (Uh, make sure its cool enough, dude). Knead it some more. It should be brilliantly colored and taste AWESOME. But it should be REALLY well mixed. Don't do anything with the coconut shreds yet.

DOUGH

Coconut Flour ... 2 Cups

Eggs ... 3

Paprika ... 1.5 TB

Salt ... 2 TSP

Cumin ... 1 TB

Chili Powder ... 1.5 TB

Garlic Powder ... 1.5 TB

Coconut Oil ... As Needed (I started with 3/4 cup and went from there)

Chicken Stock ... Some

Knead all together. Add chicken stock if you need to, I believe I ended up using about 1/2 a cup. Knead it like mad! Knead it more than you did the chicken. This is going to take a while, and also be kind of an organic process, by which I mean you'll add more coconut flour, more coconut oil, a bit more chicken stock, until you believe it is JUST right and enough. It should be doughey-sticky. This didn't work at ALL for me until I added my 3rd egg (I started with 2) so don't be afraid to add more eggs, either.

COMBINING

Originally, I was using Ti Leaves to wrap these guys, but my plant didn't produce enough large ones. I'm sure you'd be OK using corn husks (though, they need soaking in advance, I think) but I used FOIL and it worked just fine. I may have felt less cool, but they worked great. Just lay a little rectangle of foil down, greased (I used coconut oil spray... mmm). Then, spoon the dough down and spread it with the back of the spoon. I had never done this before, but I grew up making sushi and stuffs, so I used a sushi roller under the foil and that method. Lay a beautiful layer of chicken down (not all the way to the edges) and-- hey, remember the coconut shreds from up the page?-- Add a line of coconut shreds to the center of the chicken! Now, roll this up and peek in to make sure the dough seals all around, then fold it up and set it aside! Everyone will probably catch on to their own method of rolling these guys after 3 or 4 tamals. Thats it! I made lots of tiny ones and a couple big ones.

When you are done, steam them. They're "supposed" to all be on end in a big steamer, but I didn't have that kind of space, so I just laid mine in my chinese steamer inside of a huge pot. They were a magnificent mound. Steaming takes far longer than I thought it one-- I think it was an hour or more-- but I just kept checking the tamales. They're done when you can peel the foil away from the tamale without it crumbling.

I froze these and took them on my trip-- they worked magnificently! Eat them nice and cold (but thawed) a dipped in Greek Yogurt and Guacamole! ENJOY!