Quick Griddle Breakfast

Crappy Phone Picture of Delicious Thing

Why am I posting consistently about cravings now? Shall I make this a theme?* What a lame theme. Anyhow, I went to bed wanting to make something quick and soft with coconut flour, so I got up and made some little pancakes. My mom likes this kind of stuff, so this is for you, mom. Primal pancakes are usually overly eggy or overly crumbly, but I had a grand idea.

I'm honestly not that impressed with So Delicious coconut products. They fill a niche, I'll give them that, but it seems to be kind of a desperate least-bad-thing-when-you-need-something-milky. I like the coconut kefir when I want something yogurty and don't feel like dairy (or making my own yogurt or kefir), but it just has way too many ingredients in it. They can't even make yogurt without heaps of additives, so I just don't buy it. Anyhow, I do continue to purchase the kefir and had some in my fridge, so I put that in the batter. My recipe was roughly as follows:

1 Egg
1 TB coconut flour
1 tsp almond flour
1/8 cup coconut kefir
a dash of: Salt, cinnamon, almond flavoring, vanilla flavoring

Thats it. They came out super soft! Then I mixed some coconut kefir with coconut butter and frozen blueberries and warmed it up, pouring it over the top. I had originally intended on putting some nuts and blueberries IN the pancakes, but forgot. It'd be good. Have at it.

Happy eating!

*OK, I added a 'skewampus' tag for "breads" and makeshift, ridiculous "replacement" foods.

(Non) Bread

No-Grain Bread!

I'm generally a happy little thing, hopping around with wild-caught fishes, grass-fed meats, a pleathora of cheeses, coconut milk (and oil, and flesh, and vinegar, and shoyu...), and other delectables that we primals nourish ourselves with.

However, every now and then, I want a freaking sandwich. I want a sandwich on something that won't crack thinly under its load. I want a sandwich that won't leave my hands wet. I want a sandwich that I can set down once I've started eating (is this a common phenomenon?).

I was happy to find a recipe at Middlin' Plus that targeted each of the problem areas involved with "primal bread," (saying those words makes me a bit disdainful, still). And delicious it was. It held up spongefully, it comforted springily, and it held my sandwich's contents loyally. Thank you, bread-that-isn't-bread. You were lovely.


First, a lovely tuna-salad sandwich. And behold our second photo, the glorious and long abstained from, toad-in-the-hole. I remember my little sister asking me to make that for breakfast. I still cherished the leftover 'biscuit' and topped it with coconut-butter and strawberries. (Those in the background are some self-spiced sausages. Pork? Methinks.)

(I used sharp cheddar added a barely-stirred line of chili powder and some toasted pepitas. It was deliciously similar to jalepeno cornbread. Give it a go!)

Cold Coconut Chicken Tamales

This is a primal recipe-- no grain (masa) used! The texture of coconut flour lends itself perfectly to cornmeal/masa recipes. I needed a car/finger food for my 20 hour drive to Georgia and tamales sounded so, so good. I worked hard to develop this recipe. They're GREAT cold and the texture is just dreamy. However, the process is VERY involved, as tamales are famous for. So, set aside a few days and get the big kitchenware out. Be prepared to be amazed.

Note: I hardly ever add salt, but it was needed in certain areas of this recipe. I used fine himalayan pink salt for this one.

CHICKEN AND FILLING

Butter ... for browning

Garlic ... 4 or 5 cloves

Onion ... 1/2 of a huge one or 1 whole regular

Whole chicken ... Just one

Brown a whole chicken in a large stock pot with butter. Add Garlic and onion.

Boil the buggah for like 2 hours, maybe more. It should faaaall apart when you grab it with tongs. Let it cool right there in the stock, after you turn off the stove. When it is cool enough, put the whole thing in the fridge. Take it out the next day and skim off the fat, then remove the chicken. Shred the meat, you don't need the skin or bones anymore (but you can save them for soup and whatnot. I don't know, you have freedom to do whatever you like, I don't mind)

Put that chicken meat in a biiig mixing bowl and shred it like mad!

Coconut oil ... 1/2 Cup

Chili Powder ... 3 TB

Cumin ... 3 TB

Garlic Powder ... 3 TB

Black Pepper ... 1.5 TB

White Pepper ... 1.5 TB

----

Salt ... 2 TSP

Red Bell Pepper ... 1/2 of one, diced EXTRA tiny

Green Onions ... 2 stalks, thinly sliced (including white)

---

Unsweet Coconut Shreds 1/2 cup

Warm the first set of ingredients in a pot on the stove simply to wake up the spices with the oil and then add Red Bell Pepper and Green Onions until the green onions are JUST softening, then turn it off and add salt. Add this to the shredded chicken and knead with your hands (Uh, make sure its cool enough, dude). Knead it some more. It should be brilliantly colored and taste AWESOME. But it should be REALLY well mixed. Don't do anything with the coconut shreds yet.

DOUGH

Coconut Flour ... 2 Cups

Eggs ... 3

Paprika ... 1.5 TB

Salt ... 2 TSP

Cumin ... 1 TB

Chili Powder ... 1.5 TB

Garlic Powder ... 1.5 TB

Coconut Oil ... As Needed (I started with 3/4 cup and went from there)

Chicken Stock ... Some

Knead all together. Add chicken stock if you need to, I believe I ended up using about 1/2 a cup. Knead it like mad! Knead it more than you did the chicken. This is going to take a while, and also be kind of an organic process, by which I mean you'll add more coconut flour, more coconut oil, a bit more chicken stock, until you believe it is JUST right and enough. It should be doughey-sticky. This didn't work at ALL for me until I added my 3rd egg (I started with 2) so don't be afraid to add more eggs, either.

COMBINING

Originally, I was using Ti Leaves to wrap these guys, but my plant didn't produce enough large ones. I'm sure you'd be OK using corn husks (though, they need soaking in advance, I think) but I used FOIL and it worked just fine. I may have felt less cool, but they worked great. Just lay a little rectangle of foil down, greased (I used coconut oil spray... mmm). Then, spoon the dough down and spread it with the back of the spoon. I had never done this before, but I grew up making sushi and stuffs, so I used a sushi roller under the foil and that method. Lay a beautiful layer of chicken down (not all the way to the edges) and-- hey, remember the coconut shreds from up the page?-- Add a line of coconut shreds to the center of the chicken! Now, roll this up and peek in to make sure the dough seals all around, then fold it up and set it aside! Everyone will probably catch on to their own method of rolling these guys after 3 or 4 tamals. Thats it! I made lots of tiny ones and a couple big ones.

When you are done, steam them. They're "supposed" to all be on end in a big steamer, but I didn't have that kind of space, so I just laid mine in my chinese steamer inside of a huge pot. They were a magnificent mound. Steaming takes far longer than I thought it one-- I think it was an hour or more-- but I just kept checking the tamales. They're done when you can peel the foil away from the tamale without it crumbling.

I froze these and took them on my trip-- they worked magnificently! Eat them nice and cold (but thawed) a dipped in Greek Yogurt and Guacamole! ENJOY!